There are few things that North Carolinian’s can proudly claim. One thing that we can claim is our college basketball teams. Another thing we have is our pristine fast food eateries (Bojangles and cook-out), and a few professional teams that do the state proud every other decade.
One thing that is not known is that North Carolina has also taken another title. That is the breeding grounds for species evolution, bet you didn’t know that. What people don’t know is that things are so nice down here (for the most part) that even our animals have developed human like attitudes, and with these attitudes came human rights! There is no species in North Carolina more entitled, more arrogant, or just more of an ass than THE NORTH CAROLINA GEESE ASSOCIATION!
These grayish-brown and black geese waddle across paved roads and grass like they own the place.
They strut their wings in such a cocky manner that all North Carolinian’s have contemplated hitting a goose with their car.
But there is only one problem with this perfect solution. IT IS ILLEGAL TO HIT THEM!
Ever since this law the head geese of North Carolina have gathered and have deemed themselves untouchable and the word spread quickly.
They laugh at us as they walk across the street in the middle of traffic knowing that we have to wait for them like a cross guard guiding children across the street after school.
It wasn’t until lately that I have realized that the geese are now walking on purpose. Because in the grass THEY RUN!
Which means that, just like squirrels, the geese know what they’re doing. They walk across the street daring us to hit them, knowing we won’t. No one wants to go to jail over hitting a damn goose.
So the next time that you decide to get upset about these geese strutting across the street like they have on 6 inch heels that they can barely walk in, just look at them in awe knowing that they have developed entitled, spoiled, and ass hole human qualities.
Tis’ All, I’m Out
- Little King